You know you're from out of town when...

Today, while I was on my lunch break, this FOBby middle-aged Indian guy stopped me on the street.

FOBMAIG: Excuse me, are you a model or something?

I shake my head, amused. Good line, sir.

FOBMAIG: Are you sure? I swear I've seen you on the cover if something.

Me: Definitely not.

FOBMAIG: Oh... thanks.

We continue on our paths.

That was my brief encounter, but what a great come on. I'm like 16 million sizes too big to be a model 'or something' in Hollywood. But maybe he was distracted by my trendy blue $6 forever 21 wayfarers, or the fact that I was a young girl on Sunset Blvd.

Wait... No butter?

The NB has moved into the co-op, which is a large orgy full of hippies and pot and some cats under one roof. They do cute community-type things like have a roster for who cooks dinner for everyone one each night. There are 16 of them, so this is no small task. And, three (or more?) of them are vegan, so all the dinz have to be vegan. You know, like even more than just vegetarian, like zero animal products? No eggs (bye quiche), no milk or cheese (bye lasagna, grilled cheese, everything good in this life) and no butter (um... goodbye Paula Deen's entire stock of recipes.) So it pretty much goes without saying that there's no bacon.

No bacon???

Anyway, because I love to win the hearts of new people with baked goods, and because I wanted to play with the KitchenAid, I ventured to make vegan chocolate cupcakes.

Love of my life...

Here's the recipe. If anyone is ever feeling vegany.

Vinegar in a cupcake?? Let curdle?? BLEARGH!

Here they are before being iced. I didn't take a picture of the after-icing, because first I delivered most of them to the very greatful hippies who happened to be inflicted with the munchies when we arrived, and the few that I left behind were attacked by ants before I could take a picture.

Speaking of icing, I don't think her recipe is quite right. Hers makes 12, so I doubled everything, but the buttercream was WAY to thick. It wouldn't go through my piping tips ( :( no trial run there...) even after I had soy-milked it down, resulting in me spreading the icing rather than piping. Then I checked the KitchenAid cookbook which gave a similar recipe only it was 4 cups of icing sugar (instead of 5) and zero cocoa (which one might need to make it chocolate...) so that kind of explains why it was so thick. So yea, if you do make these, take that into consideration.

Melissa came down halfway through the baking and said that it smelt like bacon, which is ironic, n'est pas? But other than that, both Dad and NB said that they were delish. The hippies also, but they were high so I don't imagine that they were very picky at that point.

The Pageant Results Are In!

In case anyone was dying to know the outcome of last night... it was D) none of the above.

I was all planning on not saying anything, but then I also hate to go to bed somewhat angry. So I shared with NB, gently broaching the topic with 'maybe I shouldn't go tomorrow, I feel like I'm intruding on your boys' night out' and ending with 'it's not MY fault you dropped her, she wasn't even here when we hooked up! She should hate you, not me!'

NB concludes that while BWB is the only one of his friends who cares, mayhaps I should not go. This is obvs not the answer I was digging for, but whatevs.

I have decided to go for my zen approach. Not care. I'm an Aries, quick to anger but also quick to get over it.

The facts are these:
-NB doesn't have feelings for her, and never had enough feelings for her to actually date her.
-I would never want him to tell me that I couldn't hang out with a guy friend, even if we had had a history at some point.
-I would like to be friends with his friends, but she is very much an integral part of their group.
-We don't even know if this biz is going to last past graduation.

Conclusion:
I have better things to waste my mind on, like Bridezillas on WE. And really, if I'm not bff with his bffs, I won't die. So, whatever, girl. Keep playing that great Avril song in your head (Girlfriend, duh.), it ain't happening.

To The Mattresses!

To 'go to the mattresses' is the Godfather way of saying go to war. Not that I watched the Godfather. But You've Got Mail is on TV fairly often, and Tom Hanks references it a bunch of times.

Why, you ask? Why would a lovely, sweet, peaceful girl like me go to the mattresses?

Here's the story:

I'm in this class that is a really massive and also one of the most desirable electives in USC. As such, everyone and their dog is enrolled in it. (Except Rach). This includes many hot faves such as Facebook Foul (aka 2 week boyfriend, aka 'go stand over there'), GhettoFabButActuallyRichAndAsianGirls, WooStalker, BW and many many more. (Not BabyFace though, oddly). Natch, that means that Mom, Dad, Rona, NB and I all get to take a happy family class.

But you know who else is in it? The previously unmentioned BitterWannaBeExSomethingButAtLeastThey'reStillGoodFriends of NB. Boy that's long. We'll shorten it to BWB, because that's the important part.

(And why am I so sour, you ask? Those who know me know that I am generally quite rational and not unreasonably jealous. But this BWB HATES MY GUTS. Like for serious. Case in point: "She can't come to my party, NB, she's not on the guest list. But you're still coming right?" Which made me SO mad because really, what kind of girl doesn't know that as the Still Good Friend you are meant to play the fake nice card?)

ANYWAY.

I left for the bathroom before the movie started (oh, I gave it away...) as did many other girls. I saw BWB and a friend of hers coming down her aisle and they were walking right next to me, but I pretended not to see her. Then, she and her friend are standing behind me in line for the bathroom and I hear:

BWB: Oh shit don't turn around, I don't wanna say hi to her.

*mumble mumble*

(I'm thinking... she can't be talking about me, but that's fine, I'll just pretend I don't hear...)

BWBF: Oh, but its NEIGHBOURBOY! You should go say hi!

BWB: Haa... whatever, I already saw him yesterday, I don't need to *mutter mutter*

BWBF: But it's NEIGHBOUR! You should introduce me!

(In my head: OMG bitch, do you think I can't hear that you're talking about my boyfriend while you're standing behind me?)

BWB: Whatever, I'm used to not having him around...He used to be around all the time, but now *mutter mutter* So I was with NB's ex roommate right, and we were planning this thing with like dinner, movie, comedy club, and we called up (name) (name) and (name) and NB *mutter mutter*

(Note: NB and I were attending this event, and I am fairly good friends with NB's ex roommate seeing as he was also a NB if not THE NB.)

BWB: *Mutter mutter* and NBER and I were like 'since when have we hung out with her', *more muttering about how I should not have been invited*

So what do you think guys? I am totally in the right at hating this BWB, right?? Because, you know, I was RIGHT THERE. And she wasn't talking quietly. Which makes me think that she wanted me to hear.

Here were my options, in order of appearance in my mind:

1) I'm going to sulk back to my seat, and tell NB that his horrible BWB is bitching about me in the bathroom and say that I don't want to go because obviously she has something against me.

2) I'm not going to say anything to him and just say I don't want to go/act busy tomorrow.

3) (The apparent winner) TO THE MATTRESSES! Don't say anything to NB and show up for this shindig and be amazing and sparkly while she is short and somewhat frumpy.

3a) Tell NB after the event, so that he can take appropriate action.

Book List

Read a fair amount over the winter, so here is my little list, if anyone wants to play ketchup.

1) An Equal Music by Vikram Seth.

About: A classical musician who is in love with this chick he dumped ten years ago and hasn't seen since.

Cup of tea: Not really. It's very pretty in the prose, as he tends to be, but I wasn't very taken with the characters and it's one of those stories that is doomed from the get-go, which is kinda depress. I think I would have liked it a lot more if I knew anything about music, because then I could maybe understand when he talks about a great playing of Bach.

2) The Runaway Princess by Kate Coombs

About: A 15 year old Princess is told that she's going to marry the Prince that wins some competition that her father has cooked up, and decides to go and save the dragon, witch and bandits that the Princes are after.

Cup of tea: I kind of loved it. It's a YA book with lots of womans lib messages like don't sit around in a tower sewing and waiting for a Prince, and witches have feelings too. Obvs, I'm too old for it, but it was a nice throwback to the sec 1 days. Sonia, I dedicate this to you.

3) The Girls Guide To Hunting and Fishing by Melissa Bank

About: Anecdotes from a woman's life that have shaped her romantic life.

Cup of tea: Easy read, and the stories were quite sweet and poignant. Interesting narrative because it wasn't linear and managed to convey big portions of her life without telling you what happened in between. Still, pretty much chick lit.

Honorable mentions:

- Several romance novels not really worth documenting.

- How To Marry The Man Of Your Choice, a horrible book from the 80s full of advice like 'dress for men, not for women', which was $1 from a used bookstore in Boston so I had to have it. Comes with a warranty: full refund if not married within 2 years of purchasing book. Offer expires in 1994.

Am now working on The Rachel Papers by Martin Amis.

First BabyFace Sighting of the New Year

Walking into the Ralph's parking lot (carpark!), NB's arm snugly around me. Was taken quite by surprise as did not get the spidersense.

Small wave.

He was alone, unless you count a large cart of food. No wonder he is getting round.

Ha, BabyFace, ha.